Judith Wants to Know
by comewithnattah
Summary: The start of a few fluffy one shots focusing on conversations triggered by Judith's curious nature as a child.
1. Chapter 1: Matches

Michonne used to be preoccupied with the latest collections of the major fashion houses. After one trip to New York fashion week, it became a yearly pilgrimage. The money she would spend on an up-do of her freshly tightened locs, a golden palette of eye shadow, a new pair of stilettos, or leather or silk or cashmere would not be considered reasonable by anyone. Even after the turn, when she was alone for so long, and ran into a walker with a particularly posh outfit, she would put it down then stand over the corpse- maybe adjust the collar- and think, "Not a bad way to go. That blouse was fire, honey." Sometimes, she would even give the double deceased a congratulatory snap as she walked away.

Judith brought all of that back for her now. The little one had come across a fashion magazine a few months ago and fell in love with the bold magenta print of a wrap dress and the tall heels on a pair of emerald green platform shoes. She loved the hairstyles: the neatly slicked buns, the loose pastel pink curls and the spirals of a bouncy, flouncy rod set. Judith would apply the tip of her little fingers to the sheen of the page as if she could feel the hand-painted designs and appliqués of the manicures displayed or rub off the gloss a model wore in a picture to put on her own lips.

Michonne had given extra thought to supporting her daughter's love of fashion, though. Now a mother of a young girl, the harm the industry had caused to the collective self-esteem of womankind was something she always hated. She never wanted her baby to feel less than.

After speaking to various women about the matter, Michonne came to the conclusion that strong women like Carol, Tara and Maggie were built in a community of supportive family, that includes both, women who are not taught to compete with one another _and_ men, who know that the value of women goes infinitely beyond what they look like. Besides without the poison of monetary gain perpetuating a flawed view of what a woman _needs_ to be beautiful, Michonne saw style as an artistic outlet for her 4 year old. She was a little biased, though, in her opinion of the issue because she was a total addict for all things runway. Sometimes at night, when it was Rick's turn to read the bed time stories, it would just be Michonne, a protein bar, and one of Judith's magazines keeping her company until her husband came to bed.

Michonne took advantage of a rainy day to play in a bit of make up with Judith. She had done Judith's makeup; a little mascara, lip gloss and the slightest hint of blush. Judith had _over_ done her mother's face with a lot of _everything_ they had accumulated from runs. Michonne had looked into the mirror at the finished product and been shocked. Judith's applications were heavy-handed yet surprisingly steady for her little fingers. Once she learned to edit, Michonne figured, she'd be pretty good. Still she hoped Carl or Rick (mainly Carl) wouldn't walk in and see her painted like a Warhol because she would never hear the end of it.

"Mommy why don't I look like you?"Judith asked bluntly, standing in front of Michonne, looking in the mirror as her mother gathered her golden hair to a ponytail.

Since Judith started to call Michonne 'mommy', she had thought more than once about how she would respond if her little blonde-haired, blue-eyed, rosy cheeked baby girl ever wondered why she didn't look like her mom _or_ dad. Conversations about how much to tell her and when kept Michonne and Rick up some nights.

One of those long discussions being triggered by Carl nonchalantly telling them, as the couple washed the dishes together, that Judith had asked him why he calls Michonne by her name instead of mommy.

"What did you say to her?" They'd both asked, feeling the weight of the inevitable inquisitiveness of a growing girl in world of harsh realities.

"I asked her why _she_ calls you 'mom'." Carl replied, taking a bite of a peanut butter and strawberry preserve sandwich at the kitchen island. His parents impatiently watched him chew, both taking deep breaths and giving irritated sighs, eager to hear the answer he gave her.

He raised his hand to take another bite. "Carl!" Michonne called to him in a high-pitched tone, more than a little perturbed.

"C'mon! I'm hungry!" he managed through the thick homemade peanut butter, though he'd just eaten dinner an hour ago.

"Carl," Rick paused to chuckle, understanding both the ferocious hunger of a teenage boy and the relentlessness of a parent trying to acquire pertinent information. He'd thrown the dish towel over his shoulder and continued calmly, taking some of the edge out of the air, "What did your sister say?"

"She said 'because she's my mom'. And then I said, well, I call her Michonne because she's _my_ Michonne." He stated dryly as though he'd told them this a thousand times. "She didn't say anything after that. Can I eat?"

Michonne had anticipated this question about the differences in their appearance. She thought about what she would say: something sage and empowering. But as she combed Judith's hair in front of the mirror and the question was finally asked, Michonne fell silent. Maybe it was the bare presentation in the mirror of their blatant dissimilarities, maybe it was the sudden atmospheric change in the lightness of their play time to an issue that was so heavy in the old world Michonne had known, maybe she was startled by the question because of the absolute and effortless love that she felt for Judith which caused her to look at her as her very own daughter- she wasn't sure what happened.

Her planned narration foiled, she looked down at Judith's upward gaze, "You don't think we look alike?" Michonne asked with a raised brow in a sign of wonderment.

"No, mommy. We don't look the same." Judith said firmly.

"What!" Michonne gasped, "Look at this!" She pinched the little button in the middle of Judith's face, drawing her eyes to their reflection. "Your nose is on your face just like mine... it's even in the same spot as mine." Judith turned away from sink to face her mother. Michonne kneeled in front of her and took the opportunity to nuzzle the tips of their noses together. "Your eyes, your mouth... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 same fingers, two arms and legs... "Wait," Michonne breathed, "how many toes do you have?"

Judith giggled, bringing her foot forward, toe to toe with Michonne's, she counted. "Same!" Judith announced with pleasure.

"Same!" Michonne confirmed with a hi-five. Suddenly this was not the " _discussion"_ Michonne had thought it would be. They were laughing hard, counting ears and knees and elbows and comparing tickle spots. "What's the first thing daddy says to us when he comes home?"

"He says," Judith deepened her voice to imitate her dad, "'Hello, beautiful ladies'" and just to be thorough- as she tended to be- she added, "And then give us kisses."

"So daddy thinks we look alike." Michonne shrugged. "He thinks we're both beautiful. And daddy should know, with his gorgeous self."

"But our hair is different." Judith made a point to say as she giggled at her mother's compliment of her dad, though she really didn't care if things made sense anymore- she was having so much fun.

"Well..." Michonne cocked her head sideways contemplating, "...I guess. But your hair is different from daddy's too... and Carl's is different... And my hair is different from everybody else's."

"Uncle Ezie's hair is like yours." Judith remembered.

"I beg your pardon." Michonne pressed her palm to her chest, pretending to be violated. "Uncle Ezie's hair is gray! I don't have a gray hair yet!"

"Daddy's hair is gray like Uncle Ezie's." Judith declared, now simply playing a game of 'match the hair', rather than making a point.

"But daddy is my boo." Michonne winked. "People are always changing hairstyles and hair color. Nobody has the same hair, Jude." Michonne made her closing arguments.

"Unh-huh, the twins do." Judith realized. She grabbed the baby monitor to show proof. Her sleeping brother and sister lay in their cribs, tiny and sweet, both with full heads of sandy brown hair swirled in quarter-sized curls; darker than Judith's hair but lighter than Michonne's. "They look the same." She gave her mother an adorable side-eye and waited for a justification of that.

"The twins are _twins,_ Jude." Michonne offered with ease. "Do you have a twin?"

"Unh-unh." Judith said and gave up that fight. But she launched a new crusade, "Can you and daddy make a twin for me?"

Michonne sighed, "Jude, it doesn't work like that."

"How does it work?"

Just then Rick peeked in. He had followed their voices to their master bathroom. "Hello, beautiful ladies."

"Hey, daddy."

"Hey, boo."

Michonne gave him a bright pink kiss on the lips, making Judith laugh at her dad's colored lips surrounded by his gray whiskers. Rick finally noticed his wife's face as he stood upright from planting a kiss on Judith's cheek. Michonne saw him stifling laughter at her makeup and gave him a smirk right back, knowing she was about to seal his fate,

"Judith wants us to make her a twin." She summarized, "I told her it doesn't work like that. Maybe you can explain it to her."

Realizing the set up, Rick's jaw dropped, making Michonne crack with delight. But he came back with a checkmate. He grabbed Michonne by the waist, pulling her close to his side and said "Well, 'fore we tell her no, we should at least try… right?"

Before Michonne could respond, Judith was running out of their room to some other distraction. She called back a mantra that Rick frequently used to encourage her, " Just do your best, daddy, and you win!"

"I will, honey!" he called out after his daughter as he kissed Michonne's neck, making her squeal and playfully slap his butt. "We're gonna win today." He chuckled mischievously.

He locked the bathroom door and lifting Michonne to sit on the bathroom counter, his voice rumbled low against her collarbone, "C'mon. Jude says for us to do our best," he brought his eyes up to meet hers with a wink, "… can't let her down."


	2. Chapter 2: Soul Food

Judith shoveled another heap of candied yams into her wide-stretched mouth. She kept her head forward but shifted her eyes covertly towards Father Gabriel who was sitting to her right. He was doing it again. He'd fallen asleep in front of his plate. In a few beats, he would lift his head and give her a loving smile, resuming their conversation like the pause had never happened. He did this every time they ate together as far back as Judith could remember but it was only now that she began to notice with any curiosity.

She only ever stayed with Gabriel for a day or two during the month. He was maybe 5th or 6th on the list of rotating babysitters when her mom and dad had to be away. She'd known him all her life and liked to spend time with him. He was nice enough. He wasn't as much fun as Uncle Daryl but he was a much better cook. Her plate of baked chicken, collard greens, cornbread and yams was seriously diminished by the time Gabriel raised his head.

Judith had exhausted all her imaginings on possible reasons for his momentary meal-time snooze. She decided that if he did it again today, she was going to ask him why.

"Gabe?" She began.

Father Gabriel stood up went to the fridge and brought out a bowl. "Yes, Judith?" He acknowledged her while slathering his cornbread with a coat of fresh-churned butter.

"Why do you get so sleepy every time before you eat?" Judith asked with a full mouth.

He began to butter her piece of cornbread, smiling at the big bite she'd already left in the square chunk, "What do you mean?" He asked.

"Whenever you have a plate, you always close your eyes and your head falls down."

Gabriel laughed heartily which made Judith laugh too. He laughed 'til tears came to his eyes and his cheeks hurt. "Well, Judith. You've given my abs a good workout. Thank you for that."

"You're welcome." She didn't quite understand what he meant but she was pretty sure 'you're welcome' was the right response.

Gabriel answered her question, "When I bow my head and close my eyes, I'm not asleep. I'm praying." He said, taking a sip of cool water.

"Oh." She raised her brow, happy with an answer, until she realized- "What's praying?"

"Praying is when I talk to God." He answered hesitantly not knowing what her parents had told her about the subject.

"Who's that?"

It did not surprise Gabriel that Judith had no concept of God. Even though there was church in Alexandria and a resident priest, it served more as a town hall than a place of worship. There were no Sunday services to speak of, though the faithful would seek out Father Gabriel for confession or communion or comfort. Having talked with her parents on separate occasions he knew that neither of them were at peace with God and he understood why. Even though he wore that collar, Gabriel wasn't totally at peace with God either.

"Some people say he's the one who made us and everything we see… and even what we don't see." Gabriel explained as he forked his greens. "I pray and tell God thank you for giving me this food and this house to eat it in and a friend to eat it with."

"But I thought you cooked dinner?"

"I did. But God makes the food grow so I can cook it." Gabriel was like a dam with a leak, holding back a torrent of scriptures. He wanted to burst. And he found that even though he didn't minister in his usual way, it was like riding a bike, even if his current congregation was a single little kid.

"How can he hear you? I don't even hear what you're saying when you're praying and I'm sitting right beside you." She realized.

"I think God is everywhere. Even in my heart and my mind. So I don't have to pray out loud for him to hear me. He knows what I think and how I feel."

"Is he in my heart and mind?" Judith wondered looking down at her chest to search for God. She narrowed her eyes investigating for the slightest twinge of him as her heart beat in rhythm.

Gabriel felt that any answer he gave to that question would be out of his jurisdiction. "Uhhhh," He trailed, "Maybe you should ask your mom or dad. They might know more about it than me."

Judith thought that reasoning made a lot of sense. She loved when things made sense. It made her feel like everything was headed in the right direction. So she made a mental note to take Gabriel's advice and ask her dad when he came to get her. She and Gabriel spent a few more hours together making big soap bubbles on the sidewalk outside. And she soon forgot about God and the big questions she had.

Under a purple ceiling of night, Rick and Judith walked home from Gabriel's house. The sky was exceptionally clear and the moon glowed a crisp white, centered among countless stars. The temperature had dropped and the chill in the air was the reason Judith was draped in her dad's jacket. Her backpack under the jacket gave her silhouette an odd-shaped hump that made her look like a miniature alien at first glance. The long sleeves floating just above the pavement and her little feet barely visible, taking quick steps to keep up with her dad's long bowlegged stride was a sweet little sight. Passersby commented on the nippiness of the evening or the beauty of the star-sprinkled sky as everyone on the streets of Alexandria headed home for the night.

"Daddy, who turns the lights on in the sky when it gets dark?" Judith asked with her chin aimed at the expansiveness overhead, the awkward posture slowing her down.

"I don't know. They were up there 'fore I was born." Rick answered, noticing her little voice was further behind him than he'd like. Without his jacket, his short sleeves left him covered in goose bumps and he pushed his hands into his tight pockets and brought his shoulders closer to his ears.

Judith didn't like that answer. "Can we ask somebody older than you?"

"We don't know anybody that old, honey." Rick chuckled and looked up at the bright display. "But they sure are pretty."

The awesome dazzle in the sky reminded Judith of what Father Gabriel said about God making everything. She thought that if there was a guy named God who made such pretty things Gabriel was right to thank him. But as a consummate crayon connoisseur herself, she didn't want to be prodigal with her appreciation. She didn't want to ask her dad if he believed in God because, truthfully, she was afraid she wouldn't get the answer she wanted. So she asked him something a little safer, "Daddy, do you pray?"

Rick sighed with forethought and repeated the question to really get the flavor of it, "Do… I… pray?" He dragged the words. "I don't know how to answer that, really."

Rick and Michonne had just come back from the Kingdom with some exciting news for his family. He was on a fluffy high and so not in the mood to entertain a religious conversation with anyone, especially not with Judith. But he looked back at his pint-sized interrogator and saw that she was getting annoyed with him. She was pursing her lips and twisting her mouth, a lot like another certain lady is known to do when he isn't being forthcoming. Rick straightened up quick.

"I used to pray, I guess. I mean, I would bow my head and say stuff… thangs. I always felt kinda stupid though, like I was talking to myself."

"Gabe prays to God. Who did you pray to?" Judith dug a little deeper, charging tactlessly through his buttoned behavior.

"I think…" Rick began carefully "…everybody who prays, prays to God.

"So everybody knows him?"

"I wouldn't say everybody _knows_ him… just that maybe everybody has heard of him… maybe." Rick really wished Michonne was here for this one. He tried to walk faster to reach his plum-colored ace-in-the-hole regarding all things Judith. But his daughter seemed determined to make this a late night stroll.

"Gabe thinks God made everything. Do you think that too?

"Like I said Judith, I'm not really sure about this…"

Judith cut him off, not about to hear anymore half answers, "Gabe thanks God for the good stuff he has. Does our good stuff come from God too?"

"Well, think about it Jude." Rick said, wanting to give her his side of the issue as delicately as possible, "If God made everything, then bad stuff must come from him too. Like walkers and sadness... hurt..."

Her father made a good point. She hadn't considered the unpleasant things in life. Maybe God wasn't the benefactor she assumed. She reached up and held her dad's hand, walking with him quietly. Rick was relieved that he seemed to have satisfied her… for now. However, he knew it wasn't over. And he was right. After a few moments of silence, Judith engaged him again.

"Sometimes I do bad stuff. I broke mommy's necklace." She offered timidly, still remorseful about the accident. "She got sad. But she still said thank you when I made her another one."

"She did." Rick acknowledged, softly. Uncomfortable with the thought of praying, Rick wanted to finalize this conversation. "So… what Jude? You wanna pray? Honey, you can if you want."

"I just want to be nice." She flopped her arms passionately.

"To who?"

"To God."

"You never seen God, never heard him. Maybe God is just a story… Like… like your book about that dog who made the cake for Kitty Boo."

Judith remembered, "The Woof Cook."

"Yeah. Dogs don't really cook cakes. But it's a nice story. Maybe there ain't a God listen'n when you pray. But people like the story that there is."

Judith knew it could be just a story and it stung a little for her father to point it out so blatantly. Judith loved to pretend and fantasize. She never fought nap time or bed time because her dreams were so vivid and entertaining that she'd wake up from sleep feeling well-traveled and fully charged to make discoveries throughout the day. Obviously, she knew the difference between real and make believe. But something about God sounded true to her or maybe she was getting carried away at the idea of a new personality to love since her circle of humans was limited to the people in the communities they traded with and trusted. At any rate she didn't like what her dad was implying. She wished that he would just forbid her to talk about God or tell her God was indeed real instead of agreeing with her on the one hand and then playing devil's advocate on the other.

"But then who makes our seeds grow?" She demanded with bite.

"We do." Rick said with conviction. "We make it all happen, together. Our family. Our community. We work hard for what we have."

"But who made the seeds, daddy? And the lights in the sky? Somebody puts 'em there at night."

"Well, see, swee'heart, the stars are always up there. We just can't see them."

"Like God?" She quickly retorted with a hollow sense of victory.

"OK, Judith. Like God." He gave up.

He figured it didn't really matter if she believed there was a God. Carl used to believe the same thing when he was little. Lori saw to that. Michonne believed in God now, but she was pretty pissed at him since the world turned upside down. As for himself, Rick wasn't sure if he believed in God or not, but he was certain he didn't think prayer was worth the effort. If he was honest, though, he had been grateful to someone or something when Carl survived both his gunshot wounds. He had technically said a prayer of gratitude when Judith returned to his arms after the prison fell. When Michonne survived her injuries, he did send up an instinctual offering of thanks as he sat for hours at her bedside listening to her breathe, relieved that their time wasn't up. Gabriel had told him once that God was in everyone's heart and mind, maybe that was true. But he huffed at the idea that it could be true, all the same.

"So what else did Gabriel tell you about God?" Rick sincerely inquired. He was laying down his fight. It wasn't a fight he'd even thought enough about to prepare for or really even cared enough about to piss on his baby girl's parade just so he could feel like he'd won.

Judith repeated the small amount the priest had told her and what she thought about it. Rick began to see that the bottom-line for Judith was that she was a happy little girl and she wasn't thoughtless when it came to what she had. Though she hadn't seen much of it, something inside her told her that the world around her was bigger than just the world _around_ her. She felt a keen appreciation for it and she wanted anyone responsible for her sunny spot on the planet to know how she felt. She was the kind of person the world should be full of and Rick was proud that he'd had a hand in molding her to be that way. Though he shivered at the blustery night, there was a warmness he was feeling as he walked with Judith, enjoying her company. He relaxed contentedly, while she gave a dissertation of sorts on her novel thoughts about the man upstairs.

Judith talked until they reached their front door. When they walked inside, Carl and Michonne were in the living room sitting on the couch together. Michonne appeared to be waiting with excitement for Rick and Judith to get there. She flashed her pearly whites, stretched her arms open and Judith jumped in.

"Oh! You're cold little girl!" She said as she felt Judith's cheeks and removed Rick's jacket and her backpack.

"I missed you, mommy."

"I missed you, too. But me and daddy have something to tell you and your brother." Michonne said to Judith as she pulled her into her lap. Michonne's eyes were lovingly fixed on her husband, who still stood near the door.

"Yeah. It's really good news." Rick said, joining his family on the couch.

He and Michonne just kept looking at each other, smiling, but not saying anything. They were both finding it hard to talk with the lumps forming in their throats. Michonne's eyes were filling with tears and the sight of her emotion made Rick avert his eyes before he broke open too. He grabbed her hand and squeezed some love into her.

Carl was being eaten alive with suspense. "Ok…?" He gestured, "The good news is…?"

Rick chuckled at his son and looked to Michonne. He nodded his consent and Michonne said in a quietly playful voice, "I'm pregnant."

Judith gasped with delight, "The same way like Aunt Mags is?" She asked to be completely clear.

"Not exactly like Aunt Maggie." Rick said beaming with pride.

"What do you mean, 'not exactly'?" Carl probed.

"It's twins." Rick said calmly as he reared back against the arm of the couch like that was all his doing."

Carl didn't break with excitement about most things, but before he could pretend it was no big deal he gushed in front of all of them, "WHAT!?" he cheered happily. "No way!"

His spirited response sent Michonne over the edge and she full-on wept happy tears, pulling Judith closer and leaning into Carl's shoulder for affection. Rick needed to touch this scene to make sure it was real. He reached for Judith's soft hair and kissed his wife's blushing cheek.

"What's twins?" Judith was thrilled to ask.

"It's two babies. Mommy has two babies growing inside her." Carl explained to her first.

"I love babies!" Judith announced.

"Let's name the babies Thor and Hulk." Carl suggested. "That would be awesome!"

"I hope you're joking." Michonne rolled her eyes.

"What if they're girls?" Rick reminded him.

"Hulk and Thor..." Carl said again firmly. "Who says they can't be girl's names?"

"I do." Michonne said as she stood up with Judith and slapped the back of Carl's head. He and his little sister's eyes met and they giggled at Michonne swipe at him. "Come on, Judith, time for your bath." Michonne turned to Rick, "Story time in 20." He nodded, sat deep in the couch and soaked in all the goodness in the room, especially the curve of his wife's behind as she left the room.

"Dad..." Carl whispered as Michonne disappeared up the stairs, "Thor and Hulk?" he offered again.

"I'll talk to her." Rick promised, giving Carl a thumbs up.

A little later Judith was all scrubbed and cozy in her Dad's arms. He finished the second book of her choosing, kissed her goodnight and began to tuck her in. "Daddy, I wanna thank God for the babies."

Rick had wanted to do the same but adult pride wouldn't let him. He was glad Judith was too young to be so stubborn. "You should, swee'heart. If he's up there, he did real good this time."

Happy that her dad was cooperating, Judith pushed a little more. "Will you stay and tell me if I do it right?"

"There ain't no right or wrong way… you…"

She interrupted, "Will you stay anyway?"

Of course, he did. Finally, he met Michonne in their bed. "You were gone a while. How many books did you have to read?" She asked, knowing he wasn't a fan of the sugary silliness of children's books.

"Just two." Rick answered, "But we were talkin' about the new friend she made today."

Michonne was taken aback, "What new friend?" She perked up eagerly.

"God." Rick said with casual provocation as he stripped off his shirt.

"God?" Michonne repeated in disbelief. "Gabriel?" she nodded, assuming he was Judith's tutor in this.

"Kinda.. but not really." Rick corrected her. "I talked to her and I think this is mostly Judith's thing." Rick shrugged. "She prayed just now."

"She did?" Michonne continued in a state of shock. Her face softened, "I bet she sounded so cute."

Rick sensed no pushback. "So, you're not upset?"

"No, Rick. It's not like I hate God or anything. We just haven't been on speaking terms lately." Michonne realized as she was answering, "I don't care, as long as it's Judith's thing."

"It's totally Jude's thing. And you're right. She was _so_ adorable." Rick nodded with a hint of mischief. "She squeezed her eyes so tight I thought I would need a crow bar to open them." Rick found himself genuinely tickled by the scene he'd witnessed. "Then she thanked God for the twins."

"Awww, that's so sweet!" Michonne bubbled. But then she noticed Rick seemed to be teasing her somehow with this conversation. "What? What's so funny?"

Rick burst and fell over laughing on the bed across Michonne's legs.

"What? Tell me!" She kicked him playfully.

He pulled himself together long enough to say, "She said…" Rick clasped his hands and closed his eyes tight, raising his voice a few octaves to amplify the cuteness of Judith's prayer for Michonne. "Hi, God. Thanks for our babies. I can't wait to..." Rick lost it again. He was turning red with laughter, "...play with Hulk and Thor."

Michonne gasped in horror and began beating Rick all over his upper-body with a pillow, "We are NOT naming these babies Hulk and Thor!"

Rick was still fracturing under the downy blows of Michonne's wrath, "Then you better start praying that you think of somethin' more awesome than Hulk and Thor…" He managed to say through the assault and his laughter,

"…because right now the vote is 3 against 1."


	3. Chapter 3: Magic in the Air

"I have the crown of strength now! My power knows no bounds! Say goodbye to all you hold dear!" Carl trumpeted with a mad, menacing cackle and raised his arms high in the middle of the living room.

He was finally in possession of the gold-painted cardboard crown forged by the Raccoon-elves in the gloomy clouds of Stormwood Forest. Judith kept the crown in her room, deep in the mysterious caves of her closet guarded by little green plastic soldiers with heavy artillery and the courage to fight to the death.

When Carl wrapped himself in his necromancer's robe- his navy blue bed sheet- and wore the crystal talisman, he was no longer her brother. He became the evil sorcerer, Darkeye. Judith didn't know what evil spell he had cast to bind her watchmen and steal the crown, she only knew it would take all her dynamic energy to defeat him. But she couldn't do it in her human form.

She ran to the kitchen as her nemesis continued to hurl threats in a booming voice. There wasn't much time before the voltage from the talisman and crown merged and made Darkeye unbeatable. Judith needed a boost from a secret source to help her transform. She spotted her last chance for survival in the ivory vessel on the kitchen island. It would be an arduous ascent to the granite summit so she gathered all her strength and climbed the stool in front of her.

Her hand plunged into the depths of the bowl and with no time left, she brought up a fist of power pills, called 'raisins' in the common tongue, she swallowed them and immediately ferocious feline forces took over her body. To his dismay, Darkeye was too late to stop her.

"Nooooooooooo!" he screamed as the power began to change her.

Judith let out a mighty war cry. She had become Queen Shiva, tiger warrior and Protector of Alexandria. She charged him, scowling, with her fingers hooked like claws and her vision narrowed on her enemy. She attacked Darkeye to foil his evil plan. Queen Shiva jumped from the side chair, her arms wrapped around his neck as she brought him crashing down onto the couch. The magic crown toppled and was recovered by the side of truth and justice. She snatched the talisman from around that devil's neck and the evil slowly drained from his heart.

"Judith?" he whispered weakly from beneath his cover, "Judith, is that you?"

"Yes. What happened? Did you drink poison water from the fountain again?"

"Yes. You know that's my weakness." he pretended to cough. "You saved me. Again."

She embraced him as brother once more.

When Judith was born Carl had imagined all the things he would teach his baby sister. It turned out, she was the one who taught him. She devoured books constantly then invented games and rules and worlds and brought him along with her for the ride.

Walking through the wooded areas near Alexandria she would point out to him which pine cones were really landmines, which trees had hallows that were deep enough to see into another world, and how to spot an evil minion disguised as a squirrel. She was reading at 3 years old. She read little books with little words, but she was getting better all the time. She could paint and draw. She could hunt and fish and shoot and track. There were so many people to learn from so she was always learning instead of veged out in front of the TV or scrolling a phone.

Carl's mom had always told him that TV and video games were rotting his brain. He used to hate it when she said that but seeing how smart Judith was and how far she could go with her imagination made him believe his mother had been right, though no less annoying. It wasn't that you couldn't learn anything from the internet or other technologies; it's just that Carl never made an effort to. 300 fail videos in the middle of a sleepless night taught him valuable lessons- like not to try a back flip off of a picnic table... but his mother had told him that too.

It was a total departure from anything he could've imagined as a teenage boy in the old world, but Carl actually liked hanging out with Judith. Sometimes he even sought her out to see how the dice would roll that day. Would he be turned into a battle-toad or eat the forbidden pumpkin seed? Would he be a doctor performing surgery on the knee of her trusty steed or find the invisible string of peace carried by the King of the Crows? The only thing he knew for sure when he set out with her was: this would never get old.

Once Enid told him that he was reliving his childhood through her. It was Enid's opinion that the old world had screwed them up as kids and then the torments of a world where the dead walked the earth shut them all down as a generation. But now, as Enid's theory went, since things were calming down and they'd acquired some stability, they were all rebooting. And since Judith had never been messed up by the old world, she didn't need a reboot. She was just born a superior model. And Carl agreed.

"Hey Jude, you wanna come with me? I'm going to see Enid." He asked her as he grabbed his coat. We can see Maggie and the baby."

"Mommy said I can go?" She verified as she put down her book.

"Yeah. She said as long as we're back before it gets dark. I'm driving."

Michonne came around the corner from the basement with a few small boxes, having heard their conversation. "You can go if you want, Jude, long as you're armed. Me and daddy are doing some things around the house today, so we'll see you guys later."

"Ok." Judith reached for the jacket Carl was extending to her.

Rick came in through the front door, also carrying boxes, "You guys headed out now?"

"Yeah." Judith and Carl spoke together.

"Be back an hour before dark." Rick instructed them.

"And give Baby H a big kiss from me!" Michonne added as she met Rick at the kitchen table and they began rummaging through the contents of the boxes together.

They motored through the dense landscape of orange, brown and red, dried dead leaves dancing in their wake. Carl zoned out in a daydream about the pout of Enid's perfect pink lips as the scenery flew by. He missed her so much and hated that she was so far away. Judith was silently braiding the fraying string of her jacket when Carl sighed and lamented,

"I wish I had a cell."

"You have billions. They're full of DNA." Judith was proud to inform him. She had just started reading an illustrated book about the human body.

"What?" He muttered, barely registering her words as he snapped out of his musings, "Oh... not..." He was rendered speechless for a moment and regarded her with astonishment at that seemingly unrelated factoid until he realized she didn't know what a cell phone was. "I mean a cell phone. I could call or text Enid, or even see her face whenever I wanted."

"Oh yeah. A cell phone." Judith accessed the surface knowledge she had on the concept of cell phones. "Those are gone now right?"

"Well, the phones are still around but there are no signals or service to make them work."

"What's signals?" She wondered now.

Carl had begged his parents for a cell phone for months so he could see the videos and texts his friends were always talking about. He finally got his cell phone after a particularly impressive report card... just in time to receive one of the worst calls of his life. He was at his friend's house when his mom called crying saying his dad had been shot. He often thought about how his world's ending was just a preview for the catastrophe that followed. Nothing seemed magical then, just unreal.

But, as usual, Judith made him realize something- he didn't have a clue what signals were beyond the word "signals". So that's all he gave her in answer, "Signals are signals... like power... in the air that... just... kinda makes things work. Like walkie talkies but way better."

"Sounds like magic."

"Yeah." Carl chuckled, "It does."

"Real magic." Judith whispered to herself comparing their pretend play with the life her brother had actually lived. She never thought much about the wonders of that old world since there was always so much to do in this one. But now she wanted to know. "What was it like when magic was in the air?"

Carl took his eyes off the road and looked over at his little sister, staring at him with a raised brow and a faint expectant smile. His instinctive deftness for nonchalant responses took a backseat to the wonder in her eyes and he decided to do for her what she regularly did for him: Amaze her.

"Awesome." He answered her with an effervescent expression, "See, your cell phone was this little box with a window that glowed with a soft bluish-whitish kinda light. And when you held it in your hand, it gave your fingers powers."

"Powers? Like what?"

"You could never get lost. A cell had GPS. It was like a map that could see every move you made and if you went the wrong way, it would tell you the right way. GPS knew the way to get to anyplace, anywhere."

"I wish we had a _GBS_ when we got lost in the woods that time." She said as she thought of all the times that would come in handy. "And a _GBS_ can take me to my sock I lost... oh! and find that grape that fell under the couch!"

"Yep. Like, with a cell, you could just point to the name of your friend and the signals in the air would bring your mind and your friend's mind together. Like you could hear their voice in your ear even though they were far away."

"How far away?" She asked, intrigued.

"A thousand miles away... a million miles away!"

Judith knew that was far but she liked to be exact. She needed a frame of reference for a million miles, "How far is that?"

Carl stumbled, "Uhhh... it's far, Judith. If we had a cell phone we could ask Siri how far it is."

"What would she say? ... Wait... who's that?" Her questions were coming quicker than she could manage.

"Siri was a lady in your phone."

She gasped, "There was lady in the phone?!"

"Uh, not a whole lady. Just her... uh... brain."

His sister looked grossed out. "Ew. Who put her brain in there? Was there a lot of blood?"

 _A little_. He devilishly thought about saying, but he instead he told her, "It wasn't her real brain it was the signals. The signals let you talk to her and she knew everything! You could say 'Siri how do you make Aunt Carol's peanut butter pie?' and then Siri would tell you all the ingredients, where to find the ingredients and everything. She could even show Aunt Carol in her kitchen so you could watch her make a peanut butter pie!"

"If Siri was so smart, how'd they catch her and put her brain in all the signals?"

"They didn't have to catch her. Siri was… nice. She wanted to help everybody be as smart as she was."

"Where is she now?"

"I don't know. She disappeared when the signals left. But maybe she's still out there, in the air... learning new stuff. She was awesome though."

"What else?"

"Lets see? There was a whole different language people used for the phone. It wasn't a language with words. It was made with pictures and little yellow faces called emojis."

Judith laughed. "Eeeemojis." She liked the way the words came off her tongue and tickled her ears. "What else?"

"Umm..." He thought about things she'd never done, "and one time I flew."

'No. Carl. People can't fly." Judith told him flatly. She knew that for sure.

"Not now. But people used to. I did. I swear. I went to a place called Disney World. Ask dad, he did too."

"What's _Didney_ World?"

"It's a place," Carl laughed at what he was about to say, "owned by a big mouse. A mouse bigger than any man!" He saw Judith about to dispute him. "I promise Judith!" He held his chest in honor. "The mouse was Mickey and his wife was Minnie and you could come stay in their kingdom and meet all their friends."

"A kingdom! Did they have a tiger like Shiva?" Judith assumed.

"Not a tiger... a tigger!"

"What's that? A tigger?"

How do you describe what a Tigger is? Carl gave it try. "It's like a tiger... but sillier... He can like, bounce on his tail and sing funny songs."

"And you saw him?"

"Yes!" He emphasized, with a scoff.

Judith knew animals talked in movies and books. But she knew it wasn't real. What her brother was saying defied even her imagination. She was skeptical. "Not in a book?"

"Not in a book. We even took a picture together."

"I'm listening, but I'm gonna ask daddy." Judith said.

"Yeah ask him." Carl consented dismissively and continued. "In his kingdom there were rollercoasters..." Before she could ask, "Rollercoasters are like cars... hitched to each other in a straight line and they follow a track that goes waaaaaaay up high in the sky." Conveniently a hill was just ahead of them. Carl accelerated, "Then you drop out the sky!" He shouted as the car went airborne for a brief second causing their stomachs to drop.

"Whooo!" Judith exclaimed. "Do it again!" she requested with glee.

He took the slightest second to weigh the pros and cons. "Ok..." He agreed, slowing down to do a U-turn, "But don't tell Michonne."

Carl regaled her with tales of Google, Slurpees, 3-D movies, Happy Meals, Sesame Street, All You Can Eat Buffets, Chuck E. Cheese's. "He was a giant rat, with lots of games and pizza." Carl told her. Judith wondered why rodents were so much bigger... and so much more fun in the world before.

As he continued, Judith's excitement wound down. Soon she was quiet and there weren't any more questions. She just stared out her window. Her brother couldn't see her face but he wondered what was bothering her.

"You ok, Jude?" He ventured to ask.

"Mmhmm." She responded, never taking her eyes off the tree line.

Carl thought maybe he'd said something to make her sad. The more he thought about it he could see that maybe it would make her sad thinking about all the things she didn't have and would probably never experience.

Judith however didn't feel that way at all. She was deep in her thoughts, her imagination spinning. It wasn't until the next day, after they'd returned home, that he found out what his sister had been contemplating. He was sleeping in late when she pushed into his room.

"Caaaarl!" She called to him making lots of clamor, carrying a tray. Carl shot up instantly, somewhat disoriented until he saw her standing at the foot of his bed. "Caaaarl, I have a surprise for you! Siri sent me the signals..." She placed the tray on his lap, presenting one of Michonne's famous pancakes with a curved hole cut in the middle. The white plate showing through looked like the teeth in a smile. Two blueberries made eyes and a strawberry made a nose. "Me and mommy made you a happy meal! Here's your toy!" She handed him a colorful pinwheel that she'd taken all morning to make with Michonne's help.

"Say that again, Siri?" Judith narrowed her eyes and looked off into the air, as though she were straining to hear.

Carl looked off into the same direction, "Siri?" he chuckled.

"Shhh!" Judith held out her hand to quiet him, never meeting his eye. Then she nodded, speaking into the air, "Okay, Siri. I'll tell him." She turned to Carl, "Hurry and eat, Carl. You'll need your strength. Siri wants us to come and find her."

Carl beamed and didn't hesitate to start stuffing his mouth with his happy meal. "You think we can really find her, Jude?" He asked eagerly with cheeks full of pancake and his eyes full of wonder.

She picked up the pinwheel from the tray and spun it with a puff from her lips. "The magic pinwheel is pointing us this way!" She threw her finger toward his bedroom door. "We have to ride the _rolley-coaster_ to Big Rat Kingdom." She turned to her brother, her sweet little face falling serious all of a sudden, "But, Carl, when we get there, you have to let me talk to the Tigger."

"Okay." Carl answered without much concentration as he tied his boots.

"I mean it, Carl. I have my power pills in my pocket. I'll turn into Shiva and sing the Tigger a song. If he likes it, I think he might let us use his _GBS_ to find Siri."

"Okay, Judith." He said with a new sincerity. "I trust you." He held his hand up for an energizing hi-five.

She slapped his hand, already feeling victorious, and took a deep breath. "We gonna win today?"

Carl nodded with resolve and stood ready for another epic quest. "Lead the way, Jude."


	4. Heartbreak

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Little Judith! What's the matter?" King Ezekiel called out to Judith as she tore past him in the Grand Hall headed for the Royal Garden. She was sobbing and trying to catch her breath, her long blond braids bouncing against her back.

"I think she's crying, my King." Jerry leaned in Ezekiel's ear shot. "She must be sad."

"Thank you, Jerry." Ezekiel tried not to roll his eyes too obviously at his faithful bodyguard's attempt to be helpful. "Please, be so good as to fetch her parents." The King started out behind her. But Jerry shifted on his feet hesitantly, not sure if he should follow the royal order or continue to secure the King's safety. Noticing his steward's uncertainty, the Kingdom's gracious ruler extended his patience to Jerry with a doubtful tilt of his head and assured him, "It is unlikely a mere six-year-old poses a threat. The odds are good that I would survive any possible attack." Ezekiel nodded for Jerry to obey and the large sentry retreated to go as the King also turned on his heels to find his friend's little one among the large green leaves and vibrant colors flourishing in the neatly landscaped enclosure.

Ezekiel found her at the fountain with the greedy koi piling at the edge to get her attention and hopefully a little bread. Even in her sadness Judith couldn't ignore the golds, oranges, deep reds, shadowy blacks and shimmering whites wiggling happily before her. The water smacked and popped with excitement and the ever-compassionate daughter of Rick and Michonne Grimes thrust a hand into the water to pet the big fat fish. She broke off a piece of the flaky scone in her hand and watched through her tears as the fish vied for the little portions she offered from her pink-polished finger tips.

Ezekiel approached, the gray gravel crunching under his steps, wondering what could have upset her so. "Judith?" He called to her back as she knelt before the large basin, resting her head on her other arm and letting the tears take the short trip over the apple of her cheek to be absorbed into the sleeves of her ruffled lavender shirt.

The day for her had started with so much promise. Morgan was to be knighted by the king today and festivities were planned to go on into the night. Lots of important people were coming from all the communities in their circle and she looked forward to seeing all the people she missed everyday: Her Aunt Maggs, Little H, Carl and Enid and especially her unsuspecting husband-to-be.

* * *

Maybe a year ago, when she visited the Hilltop to spend a little time with Maggie and Little H, she had woken up before them both and out of boredom went to search for any other early risers.

She ran into him rounding the corner from the main stair. They laughed together at their awkward collision and exchanged morning greetings. Once he'd asked after Rick, Michonne and the twins, he invited her to the office to help him with a few chores before breakfast. That's when she officially felt it. Of course, he was her friend, often holding a position somewhere in the scenes of her life, but lately she was noticing him more and wanting him to notice her.

Her eyes latched onto his form and followed him warmly around the office. She was supposed to be sorting and packaging seeds for shipment to her big brother's fledgling community but she couldn't concentrate with the man of her dreams around. She was enamored with his long lashes and the almond scent that wafted by when he passed her to access a map or a ledger from the bookshelf.

Today his hair was golden brown because they were indoors, but she liked his color best outside in the sun. When the light hit his crown, the rays from above turned everything about him pure gold and he simply dazzled like magic as far as she was concerned.

He smiled at everybody that came in to see him, his charm thick across his features. He spoke kindly and gave assistance to anyone who needed it. But with all the activity coming in and out those doors, he never neglected her or forgot she was there.

"You okay over there, sweetie?" He'd call out as he pondered some figure-laden paper.

As much as she ran her mouth, she found words hard to come by when addressing him. But her demeanor was saccharine as always when she answered him, "Mmhmm." He gave her a wink and went back to his own work.

A little later when he was walking Mona to the door after a meeting about the rain retention system, he noticed that she hadn't really made any progress with the seeds. "You need some help, there?" He squatted next to her at the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Ummm. No. I can do it." She answered, bashfully looking down at her task, more intently now that he was close. Quickly scooping up the tiny seeds from their specific groups, she did more work than she had the entire time she'd been sharing the room with him.

Judith was officially experiencing her first crush and by her calculations everything was going great in this relationship. Paul Rovia was perfect. Things were so great she only saw one possible end to this situation: Marriage. Eventually she would tell him about his future with her, but it was going to take some time for her to build up enough courage.

Once, she asked Enid what it was like to be a girlfriend. The girl that loved her brother kept it age appropriate and told her the fundamentals were being together, knowing each other, talking honestly and having fun. To Judith, it was a spot-on description of her relationship with Jesus. Judith knew that after boyfriend and girlfriend, sometimes people got dressed up and went to Gabriel and had a party and started being husband and wife.

"Are you and Carl gonna get married?" She asked the pretty brunette beside her as they walked the grounds near the trailers serving as living quarters of the Hilltop.

Enid shrugged, "Who knows. It's not something I ever think about. I know some girls dream about a wedding," she said in a somewhat superior tone. "It's not something I ever wanted."

Well, a wedding was definitely something Judith wanted. She wanted the lacy dress, the pretty cake and most of all, to kiss Jesus like her mommy kissed her daddy. The happy smiles they wore after their lips broke where unlike any other smiles she'd ever seen on any other faces. She thought that only real true big bright love could make a smile like that. And since mommy and daddy were married she would follow in their footsteps.

* * *

In the garden, Carol heard small breaking wails and Ezekiel's deep theatrical voice as he tried to give the little one some comfort over the constant gushing of the ornamental white washed fountain. Coming around the corner hesitantly, not knowing what she would find or if she'd be intruding, she heard her partner speaking in his most soothing voice, which normally worked on her but it seemed whoever he was speaking to was immune. Carol raised a surprised brow at the scene. When Ezekiel saw her standing there he extended his hand to her and shrugged helplessly. As the king, he knew the wisdom of delegating authority on certain matters and he was happy to see he had back up in the form of his beautiful lady.

"What the matter, Jude?" Carol asked plaintively, her face wrinkled with concern. She stooped down beside the little girl, smoothing back her hair as Ezekiel gratefully stepped aside.

Judith simply couldn't speak. She crushed her eyes tighter and her forehead began to perspire with the force of her jerking sobs. When she opened her eyes, she saw Carol and Ezekiel's distress as they crowded her, ready to comfort her somehow and she felt somewhat guilty for worrying them. But she couldn't stop crying. When she closed her eyes, the overwhelming image she'd witnessed moments ago flashed and trampled her heart again.

She had checked her reflection in a hallway mirror and blushed an even deeper pink across the bridge of her nose when she saw that she was already glowing at the thought of spending a little time with him.

The attendees from the Hilltop were staying in the same re-purposed school building as her family and other honored guests. She had been excited seeing Jesus saunter about the halls and the grounds of the encampment all morning. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows on his clean white button-down shirt. His hair was pulled back in a bun announcing his handsome bearded face to be even more perfect than she'd remembered since the last time she'd seen him.

He had given her a hug and a kiss on the cheek when they first arrived. As the day ramped up, he had been really busy brainstorming and collaborating with others about how they could generate more electricity for each community. She looked forward to sitting next to him at lunch in the cafeteria. When Carl had tried to claim the chair beside her, she told him as politely as possible- but in no uncertain terms- that the seat was taken. Seeing as he was only staying for a moment to inquire about anything of note that he'd missed since he'd been away from Alexandria, she could have let him sit but something in her demanded that the chair be ready as soon as she spotted her beloved.

As she chatted with her brother and laughed, half-listening to his jokes, her eyes kept wandering to every entrance in the room waiting for his smile to appear. Now, lunch was nearly over and he hadn't been seen in the main hall the entire time. So, she decided to go look for him with a pastry from the dessert table, knowing he was somewhere hungry, working hard and usually enjoyed her help and company.

Climbing the steps to their borrowed offices, she heard him laughing and it made her smile. For some reason, her impatience to see him clouded the logical thought that someone must have been with him, making him laugh.

She went unassumingly, and not very quietly down the hallway. When she reached the doorway to the office, she saw the profile of Jesus sitting on the edge of his desk with one of the Kingdom's guards. She didn't recognize the tall dark-haired guy with eyes like Little H standing between his legs, but she did see his lips were attached to the lips that commonly kissed her cheeks. In a split second, she saw Paul's arm's draped affectionately over the man's shoulders, smiling and inviting more kisses.

The amorous pair were so consumed with each other they didn't even look up as Judith ran back the way she'd come. She held onto the railing of the steps as her vision blurred with emotion. The butterflies she'd felt as she ascended the staircase, now felt like blows to the gut. No, this felt worse- much worse. She wiped her eyes with her arm and still could barely see. She narrowly avoided running into Jerry who was just steps from Ezekiel. She whispered out a hoarse apology and swung open the door leading to the garden under a blue sky and warm sun.

"Oh, sweetie." Carol spoke softly, "Tell Auntie what's wrong." Just then the large doors behind them opened and Michonne and Rick came into the courtyard clearing. Michonne ran ahead of Rick, who seemed to be gathering whatever information about this situation Jerry could provide. When Judith saw her mom and dad, she darted to them, leaving Ezekiel squeezing Carol's hand in relief.

"Jude?" Michonne addressed her sweet girl wrapped around her waist as she peeled the child away to check her fretfully for any physical injuries. When she found none, she stepped aside as Judith made her way desperately to her father approaching on his wife's heels.

Judith's feet dangled as she clung to her father wrapped in the shield of his embrace. She didn't know why, but Judith felt particularly drawn to her dad as she careened through the throes of such pain. There was always something in his eyes- something different from the past loss she could see in her mother's eyes- Rick's blue eyes whispered past abandonment; betrayal.

She knew her daddy's first wife, Lori, gave birth to her and that she died. Judith always thought it was sad in theory, but she'd never experienced missing her. She got stories about Lori mostly from Carl because for some reason it hurt Rick's daughter to see him talk about her first mother. She never knew why, but she just felt that her daddy would understand how she felt now. She broke down with a fresh wave of impossible grief as she buried her face in his shoulder. Michonne rubbed at her back asking why she was crying, wanting to fix it for the little dove now. But Rick just swayed with her, silently, sensing that first Judith needed to exhaust herself of her emotions.

After a few moments of comfort in the strong arms of her father, Judith managed to catch her breath. Rick had walked over to the metal bench facing the fountain and sat with his daughter on his knee still huddled into his chest. Michonne sat beside them on the edge of her seat intensely focused on the balled fists of her daughter as they gripped Rick's shirt in anguish. "Judith tell mommy and daddy what's wrong. Honey, please." Michonne's eyes were starting to tear up and that made her daughter burst again, now with guilt.

"I'm sorry, mommy." Judith pushed out through a dry mouth and twisted face as she finally came out of her father's chest and met her mother's eyes. "I didn't hurt myself," she strained through an impending wail, "But I can't stop crying. I can't." She fell apart again, doubling over onto her mother's arm, still rooted in her daddy's lap.

"We'll go so you guys can talk." Carol said as she led a reluctant Ezekiel away. She was satisfied that the girl wasn't in any physical danger, but the king still wanted answers in case he could assist in some way. She could tell that whatever the matter, Judith was having a hard time saying it, even though she was not known for shyness or tight lips. Carol assumed their presence probably made it harder. So, she pulled Ezekiel away as he bemoaned hearing the little one cry and she smiled at his kind, noble efforts.

With her audience gone, Judith settle down easier and raised her big wet brown eyes up at her daddy as her chin quivered and fat tears fell. She was the perfect mix of Shane and Lori. It made Rick smile, while at the same time making him unbelievably sad. "Can you tell me and mommy what's wrong, swee'heart? Rick asked as he kissed her forehead.

"I think... " She said as her chest compressed with sorrow, "I think my heart is breaking daddy."

"Your heart?" Rick repeated, turning to Michonne and narrowing a confused eye at her.

What could be breaking her sweet little soldier's heart? She had been fine since Carl had left home. She was even excited about visiting Hideaway, so named for it's elevated position in the wooded mountains of Virginia. She had worked happily, doing what little jobs she could as they built the outer wall to the sanctuary her brother commanded. Judith never had trouble making friends, her spirit being "nothing but pure light" as her Aunt Maggie labeled her. The tiny little adherent of all her mother's wise witticisms had been unable to stop smiling even with the loss of her first tooth- which she grumbled had made her look like her baby brother and sister. But instead of feeling self-conscious, the silly goose delighted in having an audience listen to her whistle through the gap in her smile. Where could heartbreak be coming from so suddenly?

Michonne's face graduated into a partial smile of recognition, now imagining that this heartbreak could be from a more benign source. "Who broke your heart, baby?" the dark-skinned beauty asked sympathetically.

Michonne could remember being seven and spying her first boy. Alejandro Cardenas was his name and he was beautiful: black, thick hair and deep dimples. She used to chase him around the playground and play in his hair in exchange for kisses. She took a moment to be grateful that Judith wasn't as forward as she was. Of course, Alejandro never had the chance to break Michonne's wild heart, because she broke his first. By the end of the week, it was Tony Gibson collecting her kisses whenever he gave her the chocolate cupcake from his lunch. While Michonne made a mess all over her face with her new boy toy's treat, Ollie (as Alejandro was called) sat at the end of the crowded school cafeteria table crying, not unlike Judith was now.

Michonne almost smiled at the memory until she looked at Rick's empathetic face.

Judith didn't want to say who had made her feel this way. She knew her father's constant aim was to protect her. She'd heard whispers of what he did to people who threatened to hurt his family. She didn't want to start any bad blood between Jesus and her dad. She had seen Jesus happy in that man arms. She couldn't be angry about his happiness if she tried. She dropped her eyes to Rick's buttons. "A boy." she croaked softly, her voice strained from her outcry.

"You don't want to tell me this boy's name?" Rick pressed, tilting her chin up to look at him.

"No daddy." She shook her head. "I just want to know if my heart is really breaking. Do you think I might die?" she clutched at her shirt pulling it from her chest. As far as Judith knew, you needed your heart to live and hers was so bruised and burdened with pain, she literally thought she would die.

"No. No, swee'heart. You won't die." Her father lovingly reassured her with no hint of condescension.

"But it hurts, daddy." Judith planted her face in his chest again with squealing sobs.

"Hey, honey..." Rick tried to gather her attention as his shirt became wet with tears and mucous. "Honey, I had my heart broken before. It was terrible but I survived."

Judith sat up and wiped away her tears at this information, wanting to get a good look at her dad. He was the bravest man she knew and she loved him dearly. She couldn't believe anyone could or would ever break his heart. The only person who _could've_ done it, she assumed, was Michonne but Judith was hard-pressed to imagine it.

She looked over at her mother who smiled at her warmly. Her mommy was beautiful enough to die over, she thought. Beautiful like Jesus, always smiling and kind. "Mommy did you...?"

Michonne sensed the conclusion Judith was drawing and quickly absolved herself. "Oh, no! Not me Judith." she leaned into the little one's face then stretched to put a kiss on Rick's stubly cheek. "I would never break daddy's heart."

"No. It wasn't mommy." Rick promised with a smile as he gave Michonne a quick peck on the lips. "It was Lori."

"My first mommy?" Judith raised her brows as her father nodded. She hung her head now and wondered if her father _really_ understood. "Did you see her kissing someone else?"

"Well..." he hesitated, tilting his head and shifting in his seat. "She told me about it. She was... kissing my best friend."

"Uncle Daryl?"

"No. His name was Shane." Rick offered, realizing how long it'd been since he'd actually said the man's name. He noticed it no longer made him angry, only sad that he was gone. He looked to Michonne who knew the full story, searching her for advice on how much more of the sad tale he should give to their daughter.

Judith had never heard of Shane before but she could see in her daddy's eyes how much it hurt him to remember what he was telling her. She could see that he knew the pain she felt, so she let him off the hook. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, daddy."

Rick looked at his baby girl on his lap as Michonne rested her forearm on his shoulder and massaged the nape of his neck, rustling the curls at his collar. He could tell both of his girls were granting him a pardon on any further revelations today and he smiled, taking a relieved breath. "Look, " he continued, "the point is I didn't die when it happened to me. You won't die either. One day, you'll find somebody who loves you as much as mommy loves me."

None of them said anything else for a while. They just reclined comfortably on the bench together. Michonne continued walking her fingers through Rick's hair. Rick brought his chin to his chest, keeping his lips pressed to Judith's butter-colored hairline. Judith held Michonne's other hand, counting her fingers, tracing the lines in her palm and comparing her mother's finger prints to her own. They sat there in a love huddle until Ezekiel, who had been thinking of a way to save the day came into the garden being led by Shiva. That was Rick's cue to leave but Judith perked at seeing her big orange friend. She and Michonne laughed as Rick made a lame excuse to go and wasted no time cuddling and petting the purring tiger.

Later that night, under tiki torches and the moon, Judith saw Jesus with the same man. She smiled at them as they walked hand in hand and when her very first heartbreak acknowledged her with a happy wave, she returned it in kind. She looked back up at the stars and wondered where the guy who would love her as much as mommy loved daddy could be. What was he doing right now? What did he look like? Judith wanted to know.


End file.
